Author Archive

Broken Wings   2 comments

If we all have wings that are broken in our own beautiful way where does the logic lie in judging another’s wing? You drink every day to numb yourself to the fact that he left you for someone else. While he has multiple partners so he’s never alone long enough to remember the girl that left him to chase her dream. No sin (Sin – Missing the Mark) is greater than another putting no man in a seat capable of judging. If an individual’s behavior brings you pain, anger, disgust or just does not work for the direction in which you’re headed in life no judgement is needed to move around. You have a choice, you always have a choice so stop dancing on the bee hive then complaining when you get stung.

If we spent less time looking out in the judgement of others and look in with care and concern in an effort to fix/heal our own internal issues we would add to the world so much more than what she has been given by us thus far. A side note for reading, life is not a seesaw pushing someone down will not elevate you. Also, since I have your attention Karma is unfailingly taking notes and she never returns in the manner in which you sent her out nor in the time span in which you’d like. She is a boomerang set on her own schedule, returning in who, what or how she likes. Work to be sure all or at least majority of what’s coming for you is good.

I would like to, since you’ve taken time to read my words, challenge you to assist someone today. Any one in your network that you know could use your words, start the process of mending a wing today. Someone that has not recently or has never heard how you really feel about them, let them know how their beauty has decorated your life. Love is in giving not receiving. I’ll start by sharing my positive energy and love with you. I am truly grateful for you and so very appreciative that you would take time from your day to read my inscribed thoughts. I believe time is our most valuable asset and for you to spend your time on me warms my heart and feeds my soul. Thank you for being such a gorgeous generous force in the world.

Being #TranzParent

Much Luv,

Mz. Jae

The Purple Winged Phoenix

Posted August 29, 2018 by MzJaeL in Uncategorized

Old habits die hard…   Leave a comment

He said, “I view things differently now, I’m not the same guy I was back then.” I looked deep in his eyes while I listened knowing in my heart time is the ultimate truth revealer. I conversed with him for months and the more time passed the more I saw his new ways battle with the old mind he tried desperately to convince me he no longer possessed. His pride in conjunction with his ego supported by his arrogant tongue dug a hole wide enough for him to be buried in. As I jumped over the tomb I thought to myself why couldn’t he just let it go? We come equipped with a mind that will enable us to do anything, literally. We can talk ourselves into success or into defeat it’s all in how we evaluate the situation. We have complete control over it all as long as we don’t allow it to completely control us.

Much Luv,
Mz. Jae

Posted May 18, 2018 by MzJaeL in Uncategorized

Stand in Your Truth   4 comments

I’ve been away from social media for a few months now, by choice no fasting; trying to prove to myself I wasn’t addicted or any other reason that would help a person understand my why. I just needed a break from world news, neighborhood news, fake news, judges of everyone and everything with their pocket jury in the posts comment section that cosigned every strong opinion that was spat out as if it were researched, found factual and proven an undeniable truth. I was also tired of the fictitious lives and fables that had run amok in my news feed as if I didn’t really know the person that was posting the pictures with the beautiful filters and writing the comments that were biased and filtered as well. I wonder who are we afraid of? Who is preventing us from being who we are, from living in our truth and do we really believe they are worth the cost of lying about everything we do, have and are?

I was talking to my daughter just before we entered the New Year about life, the evolution of friends, family and ourselves. As we sat at the dining room table I said to her emphatically, “Never give a person the power to take away your truth.” Careful to lend an example to that statement so she knew exactly what I meant. I went on to say if you feel a certain way in your heart never let circumstances, opportunities, friends, lovers or enemies change that. It is okay to agree to disagree you can still have friendships and relationships with people you do not agree with. You should want that, you don’t need yes men, people who are terrified to voice who they are, scared to stand in their truth, on the fence swaying from side to side depending on who they are holding a conversation with. You want decisive individuals in your circle people that respect who you are because they know who they are so they’re not intimidated by you expressing your truth. I say this to you with such brazenness because forgetting your truth isn’t an instantaneous abrasive act it’s subtle, alluring, deceitful and undetectable until you’ve found yourself in its trap long after the trap has been set.

After our conversation I was on Facebook responding to a few comments on a photo I posted back in August when I decided to scroll through my newsfeed. There I found the important, the judgmental and those that are in dire need of attention. If we spent half, as much time working on ourselves as we spend telling others what they need to work on we would live in a much better place. What do I mean? You once believed in edification but you stopped reading because none of your friends read so you had no one to discuss knowledge with. You use to believe in marriage but you fell for a person that told you it was just a piece of paper so now you’re in a relationship that has no next level and you’re making excuses for why you don’t have what you deserve and desire. You believed in yourself but you allowed others criticisms and their self-limitations to dominate your values and the outlandish dreams you know you’re capable of achieving. Your desire to please, fit in or belong to someone, somewhere you probably shouldn’t be in the first place, has suffocated your true destiny, which is to be who you are. Gradually your beliefs were dissected and dismantled until a time came when you were no longer you. You were at best an empty shell of you and at worst a carbon copy of someone in your circle.

I challenge you to make a decision right now to take your eyes off everyone else and focus on you. Decide that no matter what a person says or what society shows you that you will always be your distinct version of the truth. It may not always be easy, popular or safe but it will definitely be worth it in the end because you will connect with other truth fighters that will be your lifelong comrades. You guys will be each other’s life vest that helps pull each other back above water when wrong circles try to drown your voice. Not only that but you will have also given yourself the gift of freedom because only in your truth can freedom be found.

Much Luv,

Mz. Jae

Posted January 15, 2018 by MzJaeL in Uncategorized

The Truth Resides in the Actions   Leave a comment

One, two, too many very well made kettle one cosmos. My eyelids low I looked across the table at him listening with my heart instead of my head; as he discussed the way he wanted the living to not honor his death instead, he said he wanted people to remember his life. In that moment, as I looked in his eyes, I realized I felt something, something more than what we’d previously described as our friendship. I felt something deeper and that something didn’t want me to be without him. No matter the distance that separated us I wanted to do whatever was necessary to keep us close, as close as two apprehensive people could be.

I don’t know why love crashes into one person but completely misses another
I don’t know why desire would fall on one mate and not the other
I don’t know why someone chooses familiarity over opportunity with a new lover
I don’t know why people don’t fall for one another at the same time
I don’t know why he couldn’t read my words but he liked the way I’d rhyme
I don’t know why people turn away a pure heart while not wanting to be alone
I don’t know why people don’t miss a good thing until it’s gone
But by the time I was back home
We were different like a cat with a dog’s bone
The interest was gone
It even showed in the way we communicated on the phone
He went from texts every day
To a once a week dry ass “Hey”
To ignoring my “Good Morning” text because he had nothing more to say
What happened to him brightening my day??
What happened to him blooming in my life, like flowers in the month of May??
What happened to all the jokes and the way he liked to play??
What happened to discussing Grey’s and how it made me feel some type of way
I always fall for your type, is what Jamie Foxx would say
The unavailable, the unworthy
That’s the ones that I allow to hurt me…

Much Luv,
Mz. Jae
Being #TranzParent

http://a.co/hjrlhb5

Posted February 23, 2017 by MzJaeL in Uncategorized

1k Miles Away   Leave a comment

I’ve tried not to think of you

Tried to occupy myself with anything other than the thoughts of us two

Wine, Work, Writing no matter what I do

I can’t seem to shake the feel of you

In my mind you have a residence

That demands total precedence

Over all

Leaving me terrified of the fall

I stay away intentionally not even a quick call

Still my mind like an infant to his mother back to you will crawl

I want to get out the way because for you I know I’m not the one

When I look in your eyes I can see with your ex you’re really not done

But that doesn’t change the way your words to my heart have sung

It doesn’t stop the beating of promise that you’ve begun

It doesn’t alter the sway that only you have undone

I acknowledge I care and closer than many I’ve let you slide

Unknowingly my faith with your charm has taken a ride

But I know the odds of this ending with you by my side

And if I say that can happen to myself I will have lied

Scared because feeling this way has led to moments where I’ve cried

Still thoughts of you in to my mind they have pried

Nonchalant I try but I can’t hide

In your scent is where I have dreamt I’d reside

The emotions bursting from this pen directly reflect the way I feel inside

Leaving without a trace is what I’ve tried

But returning like I’ve left something is what I do because without you like P.M. Dawn I’ve died…

Much Luv,

Mz. Jae

#TranzParent

Posted January 29, 2017 by MzJaeL in Uncategorized

Desire…   1 comment

The desires of the heart are simple; we know who we think of when the lights go dim, when that song plays, when we have a good or a bad day that we need to discuss, when the urge to make love over takes us we know who we think of, who we wish would call, who we wish could hold us, who we wish would love us the way we love them. So why on earth do we make the desires of the heart complicated?? Why aren’t we with the one we desire?? Because we’ve become adults and doing so apparently means we allow rules, opinions and fear to decide our future, our happiness and dictate our peace for us.

 

We get into situations and we don’t want to be wrong again so we stay in these situations and we call them relationship even though this person is completely wrong for us we stay instead of taking a chance by loving who we feel is right for us. When we allow fear to overtake us we operate scared, scared to let go, to feel, to be honest with ourselves and the person that’s walking around holding our heart in the palm of their hand. Living in fear isn’t living at all and if you loose this person for good it’s going to hurt whether you held it in or told them exactly how you feel, so why not free yourself by opening up and letting them know you care. Be vulnerable enough to let a person know you’re not heartless and if it doesn’t work out the way you want it to it may hurt a little but at least you aren’t walking around carrying regret as well, because the “what if’s” of life are what keep us awake at night.

 

I said all this to say life is too short to not be true to yourself, to not be true to your heart. I fell once and before I had the courage to open up he was murdered and I was broken by the regret of not letting him know how much I loved him while I had the chance. Now, after pain, time and work I reside in a place where I fight indefatigably with myself to be vulnerable, to make sure everyone around me knows exactly how I feel about them as should you because vagueness doesn’t suppress the feelings…

Posted October 16, 2016 by MzJaeL in Uncategorized

Writing for me…   Leave a comment

Writing for me is such an emotional roller coaster the ups and downs of dealing with some things I haven’t and some I  have and some thought I did. Being forced to face the feelings pouring out of me and settling on crisp white paper just before my eyes. Worse are the thoughts that seep out of my subconscious and into my writing for me to not only relive, accept and make into something that will benefit those coming after me but, I also have to immediately bounce back from the places those thoughts and lost emotions have caused me to be.

 

Writing, though I love it, has been and continues to be a journey of growth and development. Using God given wisdom and discernment to constantly let go of what I’ve found that I disapprove of and keeping what I feel is positive and definitely worth having all while holding onto who I truly am despite what my situations and people have tried and still try to make me. Pushing yourself to be the best you, you can possibly be should be a constant goal. Self improvement never goes out of style. Be who you are not who they want you to be! (Writing helps.) #AdvocateForArts

 

Know Your Worth!!

Much Luv,

Mz. Jae

Posted March 21, 2015 by MzJaeL in Uncategorized